Thursday, July 15, 2010

A Useful Tip and Day 2 of Giveaway's

I have had my share of close encounters with the close talkers of the world. You know what I mean by close talkers, the folks who stand a little too close for comfort when they talk with you. Now, I have nothing against close talkers, in fact I have known and loved many a close talker in my day. I believe that people who talk close are those that feel comfortable in their own skin and feel familiar with most everyone. While I am not a close talker myself I do love a good hug, but sometimes I just need a little more room in my personal bubble.

I think it all started in my adolescence (aka the acne years, aka the don't get very close to me years). I am a PK (that's churchie lingo for pastor's kid) and many people in my father's congregation were so sweet and kind to me, but I think it was there that I first encountered the close talker. Since then I have encountered them all over the place, sometimes it's due to a different cultural upbringing or just a different sense of personal space. I have a super sensitive sniffer so perfumes and other odors can be completely overwhelming to me in close proximity. So the smell issue, coupled with my own need for a little extra space led to the development of what I now call THE TECHNIQUE.

I have shared THE TECHNIQUE with several friends and they often bring up how helpful it is. THE TECHNIQUE allows one to maintain a respective distance with a close talker without any hurt feelings. So, today I share it with you:

THE TECHNIQUE
Step 1) When you spot a close talker approaching let them get as close as they plan to, but first put your foot forward.

Step 2) This is the most important part, the placement of the foot. Think of it as an imaginary line for the close talker. You don't want to point your toes at the close talker (see exhibit A). You'll find that the close talker will easily straddle your foot and you'll end up in a weird position.

Wrong
Exhibit A: Wrong way to point your foot

Instead put the length of your foot out to the close talker (see Exhibit B).

Right
Exhibit B: Correct foot placement

Step 3) Gradually lean back from your extended and properly placed foot. You'll find that you end up with a sort of imaginary boundary that will leave you with a comfort zone and you won't hurt the feelings of a well meaning close talker.

Step 4) Use your powers for good please!

PS I should mention that I often stand this way naturally, so don't assume I am avoiding you if that's the case!!!

Day 2 of Giveaways!
Thanks for all of you who entered yesterday. Your names have been entered into the pot for the drawings to take place on the day of my 1,000th post. If you want another entry today you can post about this giveaway on your blog and leave me a comment letting me know that you have done so.

Or if you are just joining in you can follow and let me know that you have done so.

Or if you don't feel comfortable with any of that, but you want in on the giveaway just leave me a comment today so I will know that you exist.

Just a reminder there will be seven winners announced on my 1,000th post ( today is 995). The prizes include handmade stationery, jewelry, books, vintage aprons and more! It is worth the effort, I promise.

Thanks for reading and making this blog such a joyful part of my life!!!!

21 comments:

QuiteaCommonFairy said...

Uh-oh...
Was I a close talker? I have a feeling I was - I'm awfully friendly and overly loud, overly close, overly EVERYTHING. So sorry...

Momma CupKate said...

Proxemics is part of pragmatics. That's my favorite part of language. There's syntax, semantics, etc, then there's Pragmatics! I'm utterly fascinated with people's behaviors and tools. If only I could make a career of being a people watcher. "What do you do, Kate?" "Oh, I watch people in a completely non-assertive, non-creepy manner and get paid by the noted behavior." "Uh ..... huh....."

For the record, there are about 4 people over the age of 13 in this world by whom I don't mind being hugged or touched, and I fully intend to use this technique with my next encounter with the Hugger.

Tammie said...

i've known my fair share of close talkers too and i think you're on to something! i definitely think it's a 'church' thing. i think you can go to church with someone for many many years and not really 'know' them but they might assume a sense of familiarity, that, while good intentioned, makes a lot of people uncomfortable. i think we need to explore this idea further.

char said...

Thanks for publicly mentioning close talkers. They drive me crazy. My method was always to take a small step backwards every once in a while, but the close talker had no problem continuing to step forward. Thanks for the new, probably more efficient method!

Clare said...

I need tips for avoiding the CHEEK KISSER! So awkward! Any ideas?

Maria Rose said...

Dorothy I don't think you're a close talker, but we are close so it wouldn't bother me if you were!

Maria Rose said...

Clare, with the cheek kisser my only advice is to make sure that you don't turn your head at the wrong moment otherwise a cheek kisser turns into a mouth kisser. Trust me, I KNOW.

AKM said...

I'm with Momma CupKate, in that I LOVE to study people and their behavior. (Hence the psych degree, right?) I come from a pretty huggy-kissy family on both sides, and there are times when I would just kind of like to shake hands and be done with it. ;-) I mean, if I see you once a year, do we REALLY need to kiss? Er...

Stacy said...

I will try to remember to blog about it later!

Love the "close talker tutorial!"

Ninja Panda said...

Following :)

kirsten said...

I have never noticed someone talking to me too closely (unless they have bad breath) haha. I will be on the lookout from here on it though.

Victoria said...

Great tip for body language! As you know, I am a hugger and a kisser and I looove the European "kiss*kiss" looove kissing my mom on the lips...love kissing my pups on the...well, you know (just don't tell my mom, ha)
Baciiiixoxoxoxo e
Abbracciiiiiiiii
Victoria

Maria Rose said...

Victoria you can never hug or smooch me too much!

Victoria said...

Muah!..and give a big juicy one to that Cordelia!

Michelle said...

Hi Maria - I have posted about your 1000th post on my blog :)


P.S. I can't believe how big and beautiful Cordelia is getting!

Emily said...

I linked your blog on my post today! Yay for giveaways! And yay for useful tips to kindly ward off close talkers! :)

greendoorproject said...

I found you through my sister-in-law's page, Emily awhile back and then she told me how you two "met". I was so excited about your how to paint video but never saw another one...maybe I missed it? By the way, I'm Rachel!!

Ashley said...

I had a customer today that was a very close talker at one point she got so close to another woman I was helping that in my head I blurted out "wow what a space invader!" then I laughed really hard in my head... now all close talkers shall be known as space invaders... in my head.

Maria Rose said...

Rachel, I haven't forgotten about the painting tutorial. I was supposed to stay away from paints while pregnant and then there were other obstacles since. I do plan to finish it up once my thesis is done, later this summer!

Erin said...

I would love to be in on your kind giveaway : )

Linda said...

Already following your blog!

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