Monday, February 7, 2011

Then and Now

When I was a young girl my father was serving at 3 churches every Sunday. We lived in rural Montana and the congregations were all quite small, but my father would make a commute each and every Sunday. Sometimes my family would all join him for the evening service in Lennep, MT.

After the service we would pile back in the car, my parents, Ben and I (my youngest brother Sam was not yet born). I remember those drives home as being very quiet. My parents would be in the front seat, talking softly to each other. Ben would fall asleep, lulled by the motion of the car shuttling through the quiet Montana nights. I would rest my head against the door and look up, noticing the stars and the beauty of the night sky.

One such night I remember noticing when we passed Two Dot, MT and thinking I should probably fall asleep since we would soon be home. I wanted to be asleep when we arrived because I wanted my parents to pick me up and carry me to bed, as I knew they would do with Ben. I am sure I tried to put on a convincing show, but sleep wouldn't come.

When the car pulled into the back and we were home I pretended to sleep. My father picked up my brother and carried his sleeping boy body right up to bed. My mother gently tapped me and said that we were home. No doubt she knew that I was awake, but for me it meant something else. I knew then that I was growing up, that my body was big enough that neither of my parents felt inclined to carry me upstairs anymore. I wasn't hurt by it, but for some reason it was one of those defining moments in my life. I knew that I was not little anymore--at least in my 8 or 9 year old mind. Just a moment of being self-aware I suppose.

Night driving

Last night Eric and I piled our tiny family into the car and headed home after a Sunday evening spent with my parents. Cordelia fell asleep as Eric and I quietly talked on the drive home. When we pulled up I unlatched her car seat buckles and scooped her up as gently as I could. She woke for just a moment and then nestled into my shoulder and with a sigh she was back to sleep.

9 comments:

Momma CupKate said...

Goodnight, Cordelia. Dream sweetly.

the mountain fox said...

People are always saying 'the years go by so fast...' I guess we better appreciate these moments while they last!

Robin said...

What a lovely post!

On my way Home... said...

how sweet! elijah rarely does that... the other day he was so sleepy though, when I sat him on the chair to take his shoes off he nodded off and started to fall off. that was a lot of "off".
so I've been meaning to ask you- what does cordelia drink as far as milk? elijah doesn't like milk, but I'm trying to wean him and give him something else. wondering if you had any ideas.

Maria Rose said...

Right now Cordelia is drinking some soy milk, but I also give her almond milk because I don't want to give her tons of soy. I seek out the fortified vegan milks. Sometimes I give her just a squeeze of vegan chocolate syrup. She also likes V8 (which I think is nasty) and sometimes I will give her watered down 100% juice and just plain old water. She is mostly weaned now and when she's needing mom time I distract her with snacks and a drink or a cuddle. Hope that helps!

Emily said...

This was really beautiful. A perfectly written story about a perfectly delightful childhood memory.

Keia Kato-Berndt said...

I love this story.

AKM said...

I love your family stories about life in Montana.

singlemama said...

beautiful memories & beautiful present :-)

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