Friday, June 10, 2011

Primal Scream

I think every mother knows that, no matter how vigilant they are, there will come a day when their child will throw something in the toilet. I am Maria Rose and here is my story....

Yesterday morning started off a bit crazy. I had only gotten a few scant hours of interrupted sleep and I was tired. Cordelia was in a super-clingy mood and wanted to be attached to my person all morning.

I often puppy-sit for my parents during the day. Bode (Bodie) entered our house with a full throttle whirlwind of insanity. Bumblebee let out what can only be described as a dog scream. There was a lot of shuffling and jumping, squealing and whining, as we desperately tried to usher the dogs into the back yard. Meanwhile Cordelia narrated in one word descriptions: "Bode,"..."Bumblebee,"..."Grandma,"..."Hi,"...."Outside,"..."Grandpa,"...."Bye."

So finally the dogs were out back and I was able to chat with my mother for a moment before she headed out.

Then I was on my own and chaos reigned. I looked out back and Bode had gotten into something and it was strewn across the lawn. Bumblebee seemed to be egging him on. Cordelia wiped out, then she poured dog water all over the floor. There was breakfast and Bode kept trying to get up on the table (he is still learning his manners). The dogs raced through the house, chasing each other, knocking over everything in their path. Cordelia laughed...then cried...then whined.

Finally I went up to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I thought I would just clean up and I would be more able to face the day. Then Bode grabbed hold of the toilet paper and took off running down the hall, a train of paper flying behind him, all he needed was a "just married" sign. I turned to grab him, for one simple second and that is when it happened...

Behind me I heard Cordelia saying,"Hiiiii" as she gazed proudly into the toilet.

I paused, could it be...? Yes, that is a dog toy in the toilet. Ugh. Here is the moment I am not so very proud of. I didn't yell because I wasn't mad, but I was totally at the end of my rope and I let out what we will call a primal expression of that feeling. I went, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," Cordelia laughed. The dogs blinked up at me. I slumped my shoulders and went on with it.

the device
My first inclination was to just try and flush it and be done with the whole thing entirely, but I could see that this little toy wouldn't simply flush. I would have to take action. I couldn't bring myself to reach in there (not that I haven't done that before, come on it happens), but not on that morning.

the device
So I decided to use some barbecue skewers as chopsticks to fish it out.

got it
Simple and effective. It worked like a charm. You'd think I had just won the Iron-man with the show of joy that I put on. I did a victory lap. I could hear the crowds cheering in my mind and I realized that I had to lasso that good feeling before anything else could happen. So, we all went out for a walk and when we returned the dogs passed out. Cordelia soon followed. I sat there on the couch feeling relieved and happy---not just about the toilet experience, but because of the sensation that I had able to change my mood from primal scream to simple contentment.

What about you? Toilet stories (keep it mostly clean)? Ways you change your mood?

***Yes, I did actually photograph the experience, because it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time.


AKM said...

BWAHAHA! I'm sorry you had a wacky morning/experience, but it's very funny to read about it! Yep, things fly into the happens. I don't even have kids or dogs and *I'VE* dropped stuff in there. Chopsticks...that is too funny.

As far as your primal scream, sometimes it's just a great stress get it out, catch your breath, and move on. And Cordelia laughed...heheheheh.

elizabeth said...

ok. first i must say that my internet has been stupid lately and i can't see any pictures of sweet cordelia . . . but i CAN see the pictures of the purple dog toy in the toilet. how strange is that????

second, when isaac was about miss c's age, he threw a toy fish in the toilet and flushed it. it cost us 60.00 to get that fish out.

third, i love that you admit that you screamed. i once threw a temper tantrum, as an adult, complete with lying on the floor, and kicking my legs. it seriously brought relief.

and fourth, i hope you have a rockin' awesome weekend!

p.s. do you ever laugh at the word verification words? the one i got is "beerping" . . .

Anonymous said...

Oh dear me! Would you believe we've never had one of those...mostly because DS wouldn't do anything independently until he was nearly 4. That's when I learned that my primal scream would make him laugh, too. ;-)

Daphne said...

I don't have kids, but we are petsitting our sister-in-law's dogs, and yesterday had a similar day. First, the little one (still learned house manners) pooped on the floor. Then the big one decided to one-up her and pooped a really big one. Then, if that wasn't awesome enough, he proceeded to eat most of both of the piles. AIIIIIIIIII! And THEN, we let them outside to go potty where they are SUPPOSED to, and they both found a big pile of raccoon poo and rolled, rolled, rolled in it, happy as can be. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Yeah. One of those kinds of days.

Carmen said...

This made me smile. I let out a primal scream earlier with Aidan this week. He's teething and was at the end of his rope. Had been on my hip in a full throttle cry for about 20 minutes. I was going from room to room trying to find his soother, and couldn't. Finally I just had to let it out and let a ARGGGGG out. He stopped, looked at me, stopped crying for a few minutes, then started again. I found his soother, and the primal scream let me relax again. As for the toilet, Aidan LOVES to put things in there. Yesterday he threw in one of the toy teacups - lol.

sara said...

smart thinking on the chopsticks! olivia likes to unroll the entire TP roll and trail it out of the bathroom. why? so she can find her way back? who knows. jackson once threw a whole roll of TP in the toilet...i'm pretty sure that was a primal scream moment for me! :) my kids just laugh at me in those moments, too.

Susan S said...

Honey, it sounded pretty awful but I think Daphne's story is even ickier.

Court said...

CJ practically lives in the toilet. I have a friend on facebook who posted a video of her kid when she crawled in the toilet and was flushing it repeatedly like it was a spinny ride. I remind myself every time I find CJ happily slapping gross toilet water: It could be worse. He could be sitting in it!

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