Monday, May 21, 2012

Wade or Jump?

My friend Emily posted this weekend about the family's first day of summer.Near the end of her post she mentioned swimming and how she is the type to wade into cold water slowly and that her husband jumped right in. Something about that got me wondering...what type are you? Do you wade or jump?

Jumping off the dock

Now I think when it comes to the health and well-being of others I am very cautious, ridiculously so. I worry that others will injure themselves or whatever. So I began to think, perhaps I am a wader, but that doesn't really ring true for me. I am a first born. I like to be bossy lead and I tend to think of that type as being someone who will jump in even when it isn't comfortable to do so.

When I only have to consider myself I am always a jumper. I am actually afraid of heights because I truly fear that I will lose control of myself and fling myself over the edge---pretty sure I won't though. Once I have made up my mind to do something I do it. Come what may....(I am thinking about the time I went in to get a pixie cut and left sobbing with a mullet). Jump in cold water, of course with full submersion. Move to  a different state with no real job or plans, why not?  Have our first child when one of us has been struggling to find work for a year, yep! I tend to just have faith that things will work out as they should and I go for it.

Eric, my wonderful husband, on the other hand is a wader. He prefers to get into water one tentative step at a time.He is organized. He is orderly in both thought and action. He is meticulous and thoughtful where I am occasionally erratic and tend to fly by the seat of my pants.

Back to Emily's post where she revealed that she is a wader and her husband is a jumper. I began to think about other happy couples that I know and I realized that every single one that I came up with was comprised of a jumper and a wader. Now as adults there are obviously going to be areas of crossover, but I think in general it is pretty easy to tag someone as a jumper or a wader. Do you find the same to be true?

So how does this revelation impact relationships? Well, I think perhaps it is like most successful relationships there is a bit of a balancing of the scales. For Eric and I this means that I sometimes push him outside of his comfort zone and he does the same for me. The gentle nudging over the years has, I believe, helped our personalities to evolve a bit. I think that I can now see the value in the wade sometimes and Eric can now see the same with the jump.

So I ask again, are you a jumper or a wader?


Anonymous said...

Wow, this struck such a chord with me I had to finally come out of the woodwork and comment. I'm a serious wader, and my girlfriend, Tatiana is a jumper. We've talked about this exact dynamic a few times--how as a couple we balance each other out all the time. Like with planning trips, say a weekend beach trip to the outer banks: alone, I would spend hours agonizing over the best places to stay, the best route, how traffic will be, whether dogs are allowed, how the weather will be, backup/rain plans, to the point where I might have never gotten out of the house. She would just say "let's go!", jump in the car, and take life as it came (and possibly later regret ending up in a seedy motel or getting stuck in traffic on the wrong route). But together--we have her determination to get out and do every wild plan we hatch, and my OCD planning urge to nail down every detail just right.

And when I think about it, my parents are the same way, but my Dad is the jumper and my Mom the wader.

Also just wanted to say I love your blog. It's always a really reflective, nice reprieve from my hectic mornings at work, not to mention all the hyperventilating economics and news blogs comprising the rest of my RSS feed. Your pictures are just stunning, too. Keep up the great work!


P.S. Tatiana (who is also a big fan) and I found you through her cousin, Tarah (spelling?).

Tammie said...

interesting question. I'm somewhere in between. i never jump because I'm too cautious. but i get in and immediately dunk under the water, wetting my whole body. my husband is a wader, it takes a good ten minutes before he's totally wet.

Emily said...

Love this! And it is so true! Sometimes the gentle nudging to try something new or different is what make our relationship stronger. :)

Anonymous said...

In the water I am a wader, I absolutely HATE cold,cool, lukewarm water... so I tend to make myself unconsciously suffer because if I jumped in.... it would be over in 2 seconds! So why do I wade? I have no idea. I really wish I could just jump in and get it over with...
But in life, I am a jumper, Anonymous said that Tatiana would just say "let's go!" That's totally ME... I am spontaneous, impulsive and totally "let's go" attitude!

Victoria said...

As I am certain you have already surmised: Copeland - Jumper, Victoria-wader perfect balance

Pam Brewer said...

Funny Maria, I would've guessed you're the wader and Eric the jumper. Interesting.

Anonymous said...

I am a jumper :) and just wanted to let you know that I am also a big fan of wyomingrose- some gorgeous little things you have!

E xx

Maria Rose said...

Thanks for all of the feedback! Such fun to read through your responses. So nice to hear from you!

P.S. My tattooed hubby often is mistaken for the jumper, but he is not!

AKM said...

I'm not sure that I'm definitively one or the other. I think it depends on my mood. I love to be near water and being on a boat is my most favorite thing in the world, but I'm not fond of swimming...go figure. In the broad "jumper vs. wader" sense, too, I think it depends on my mood. I think in general I start out wading cautiously, give up, and jump in full-force.

I think you're absolutely right about the balance in a relationship. When it comes to money, for example, Dave Ramsey says that one person is the "nerd" (number-cruncher/budget-keeper)and one is the "free spirit" (can't keep track of where the money goes and may not care). "How I Met Your Mother" had the Olive theory, i.e., one person will love them and the other won't, but IIRC, that theory was disproven and the couple both loved them. At any rate, it's fun to think about the ways couples balance and complement each other.

Tahra said...

I am the wader in water, but the jumper into everything else! Jeff,,,love that you and T read this blog, which also enhances my mornings tenfold, makes me go, 'Awwwww', and occasionally, bust a few tears of joy because things are so sweet. Maria and Eric, you are the model of happy parenthood to me and I love getting little slices of it through Blogger. Your take on life and being a mom always blows me away,,someday, Cordelia will read this blog and cry realizing how amazing her mom and dad are. Happy tears =*)

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