Monday, November 19, 2012

Laugh at Me

I was 12 or 13. I hadn't slept. I am not sure why, probably something awesome like being afraid of mummies, they were a real threat in rural Montana in the early 90s (whatever, I went through a phase). Anyway....I was really tired. I was the kind of tired that is tickling the rim of hysteria. I found myself in the kitchen in search of hot chocolate mix. I rifled through the cupboards and couldn't find any. I felt my frustration peaking, the hot tears began to fall down my face.

I think this is about the point where my mother came in and asked what was wrong. I was able to explain, through my sobs, that we were out of hot chocolate mix. Puzzled my mother asked if I wanted hot chocolate. Still sobbing I said, "No! I just wanted to have the option!" I am sure that crazy laughter followed as I realized just how cray-zay I sounded.

I think that was probably the first time that I remember feeling the sting/insanity that sleep deprivation can bring. Normally I don't sleep a tremendous amount so I am always kind of teetering on that edge.

Now I will say that Elise has been mostly an amazing sleeper. I have only had a handful of sleepless nights since she was born, but this week has been kind of rough. Saturday night was the worst of all. Seriously I got out of bed and felt like my eyeballs were flaming hot coals, my body ached as though I'd championed a slam dancing competition.  I was completely depleted...but I had to get up and go. I threw myself from one task to the next, but there was no question that I was in desperate need of a long stretch of sleep.

We found ourselves at my parent's house for dinner. I was hanging in there, zombie style. I played with Cordelia. I snuggled Elise. I had conversations, but it was all through the fog of extreme fatigue. Then! My father brought out pictures of himself and everything changed. We looked at pictures of my father as a baby, a kid, a pre-teen and a teenager. Some of the photos were charming and some had me crying with laughter. I completely forgot about exhaustion and gave into the happy hysteria. I do wish I could share some of those photos with you, but my father kept a close eye on them (Boo). So, in that spirit I thought I'd share some of my own photos with you.

age 5
Kindergarten. Sweet little pixie cut, a transition from the mullet.

3rd grade
Third grade. I miss that gap in my teeth. I never had braces, but it disappeared.

6th grade
Sixth grade. Coolness personified.

*Later I fell asleep at 9:30 and slept through most of the night. I have clocked in  a good 7+ hours and I feel like a new woman. I was dancing in the kitchen and I think rainbows probably shot out of my head.

P.S. Yes, I am aware that this post is a bit disjointed.  Just roll with it yo.


affectioknit said...

What a cute kid you were! Cordelia looks a lot like you!

~Have a lovely day!

Anonymous said...

Cordelia looks like your kindergarten picture! I actually thought it was her and you gave her a haircut! Phew! Glad it wasn't!
I love looking at pictures from my family, we forget our own lives in favor of what we see in those photos.
Happy you got some ZZZZZZZZZZ!

eLiZaBeTh said...

oh man, do I feel you on this I write this late at night. I feel you on the lack of sleep and I definitely feel you on the childhood photos...yours are cute! I could show you some that might just blow your mind from the awkwardness of them all. Seriously, my husband dies of laughter when I bust them out....

glad that you got some sleep!!

AKM said...

Holy guacamole, does Cordelia look like Kindergarten Maria! Adorable!

I have a gap in my teeth that I'm trying like mad to close up with a retainer. I had braces, even, but that gap -- it's genetic -- just won't leave.

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