Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The Great Attention Divide (And Giveaway Winner)

Mothering two children is great, but I really did not anticipate the guilt I would feel dividing my attention between two children. The girls are, of course, generally oblivious to my predicament, but I just hate that I can't be all things to both children at all know while still developing as an individual and growing in a marriage. Acceptance of this situation is a daily struggle. Sometimes I just have to tell Cordelia that I cannot have a tea party right at that precise moment. Other times Elise just has to cry it out for a few seconds while I give Cordelia center stage. I do know that it is healthy for the girls to have those moments of independence; moments where they learn how to do things for themselves. Still, my feelings are generally conflicted when it comes to divided attention.

One silver lining to this is that Eric is getting more time to develop an even deeper relationship with his girls. He already had a great relationship with Cordelia before Elise came along, but now that we have two girls we often find ourselves alone with one of the girls at a time. For now we often have to divide and conquer as the girls have very different needs and wants at this point. Elise may need a nap while Cordelia wants to run wild and our method has often been to each take a girl when circumstances suggest that is the best method. Such was the situation last week after a heavy snowfall. Cordelia wanted to get out and romp in the snow. Elise was more interested in cooing and gurgling. So Eric geared up for a little time outside with Cordelia while I stayed in with Elise. Both girls were able to get some serious one-on-one time before we all came back together as a family.

Playing outside


snow girl
Going wild in the snow

inside baby
Relaxing inside where it's warm and mellow

cold cordelia
Warming up with some hot vegan cocoa

While I can't say this business is always simple I do believe that the relationships we have with each other and with our children continues to grow in richness with each passing day.

Oh and I forgot to announce the giveaway winner...Kirsten! Please email me your mailing address


Susan said...

I love those cheeks!

Anonymous said...

yeah Kirsten! Congrats.
And as a mother of only one child, I can only imagine what you have to go through each day. And you two seem to do a good job, both girls have big smiles on their faces!

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