Monday, February 18, 2013
Like Me Again
I was backed up on checking my email. We have just had such a busy year that it is about all I can do to stay on top of things. When I finally had a moment to check my inbox I noticed a familiar name, a name from a high school friend. Someone I hadn't spoken with in at least a decade. She just sent me a friendly hello, mentioning that she remembered when I had picked up my youngest brother Sam from school, wearing vintage roller skates. I smiled at the memory.
I smiled because that is me. I am that kind of a person. I am happy and I like to have fun, but perhaps if you had run into me over the past several months that wouldn't have been apparent. I have been a little out of sorts. I have been working through a mild case of postpartum depression. I haven't been in the depths of despair or anything, but I just have been off.
I haven't been myself. I have been tired. I have been feeling sorry for myself. I just haven't been quite right. My natural state is to be happy, to give and to focus on the positive...but that had become a challenge.
I had a hard time recognizing the symptoms of depression as I was so focused on Elise, who was challenging for the first few months of her life. I was trying to maintain a sense of normalcy for Cordelia. I was trying to be a cool wife who could handle things and keep everything in check. I assumed I was just tired and that soon I would feel like me again...but months passed under a cloud.
When I finally approached Eric. He had already figured out what was happening and was ready and willing to help. Together we have been working through this. Fortunately for me the depression wasn't so terrible that I needed medication, but rather an intense and focused effort. Over the past couple of months the clouds have parted and, while there are still some off days, I am beginning to feel like me again.
Have you ever struggled with depression?