Monday, March 4, 2013

Kindred Spirits

anne and diana 2

I blame Anne. Anne of Green Gables. Did she give you all kinds of trouble too? Living her fictional life with her bff Diana on Prince Edward Island and all of her kindred spirits....I believe that is where I first heard the term kindred spirit. Once I heard that one could have kindred spirits I was determined to find my own! I knew there were people out there who could be the type of friends I so desired. Friends who would be encouraging and fun and inspirational and kind.

Unfortunately my childhood didn't really have much in the way of kindred spirits. I moved frequently and was rarely in a position where I could cultivate those deep friendships. Many places I lived I found that the other children had known each other for their entire lives and there was really no breaking in on that kind of relationship.

Oh I did try. I almost forced it. I found a lovely girl named Lisa with thick dark hair and an easy smile. I was just sure she would be my Diana, but she really was not. Her best friend April was not about to let me break in and I don't think she really understood my desperate yearning for a dearest friend.  She was a great girl, but she just wasn't ready for my high level of intensity. I wanted inside jokes and tearful dreams and hopeful conversations about the future. I truthfully wanted something abstract, never having had a kindred spirit I didn't know what it was all about.

I fared no better in high school, but I think that was my own fault. I did have some great friends, but I was in the midst of a phase and I wasn't great at being anything, much less a friend.

Finally (at age 16 1/2), I met Eric and he showed me what it meant to be a friend, a best friend. We fell in love and married and I was happy with that...but still I imagined that there were other kinds of kindred spirits out there waiting for me.

I made a series of friendships that were less than satisfactory. People who proclaimed to be dear friends, but acted differently. I am not judging them as I am certain they were going through their own issues. Plus, those friendships taught me a lot about what I really needed in a friend and what I needed to be.

Slowly, it happened. I made a couple of great friends....then a few more. Yes, I still moved away, but we now live in a world where I can have daily contact with friends scattered around the country and even the world.

One day it dawned on me that I now have kindred spirits aplenty. Right here in the town I live in, In New Mexico, Colorado, Oklahoma, Washington, Montana, Australia, and so on. I have my Diana. I get to be Diana for others. I have kindred spirits that range in age, gender, positions in life, etc.  I must admit that it was worth the wait!

What about you? Have you found kindred spirits? Have you never read or seen Anne of Green Gables and were just totally baffled by this post?


Anonymous said...

I really liked this post, and I do like Anne of Green Gables.
Thanks for sharing your view of the different kinds of friendships and I do view my friendships in a similar manner.

Michelle said...

I read "Anne of Green Gables" when I was very young, so remember little about it--I should read it again.

Being such an introvert, I have never been given to the level of intensity in friendship that you describe--sharing my inner self is not easy in person. Sometimes I come close in the blog. I am grateful especially for my daughter and my sister Grace, who understand and share so many of my interests.

My best friend was Jerry. He left such a hole in my life! He did not share my devotion to books, nor I his love of sports, but we understood each other.

Victoria said...

I am never baffled by your that's a Kindred Spirit!! LOL! Yes, read Anne of Green Gables when I was 12...I am certain it had the same effect and I am blessed to have kindred spirits and cosmic daughters (really the same thing) in my life.

Sarah Purdy said...

The day I cracked a slate over Josh's head was the day I knew I was in love. Of course, he had it coming since he'd been dipping my braid in ink all morning. That cad.

I absolutely loved A of GG and read nearly all of them. I'm looking forward to reading them to Sadie someday.

I adore this post and you.

Court said...

Aw. I knew I liked you! I was obsessed with Anne. Such a lovely series. And thankfully yes, I have been blessed to not only be married to a kindred spirit but to have a small handful of friends as them as well through various stages of life.

Anonymous said...

Puffed Sleeves!!!!They are such kind and beaustiful.books. And yes, I always wanted my bosom friend too. And i did find one. The last book,Rilla is my favorite.

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