Thursday, May 16, 2013

Confidence

 Cordelia

I am not sure when it starts, we're not there yet. I fear that it is soon to come. Right now Cordelia is confident (Elise probably is too, but when I asked her she said, "BAAAH"). When somebody gives Cordelia a compliment she believes and/or agrees with them. I am sure Elise will too.Why shouldn't they? Why would someone lie about  brains, looks, personality, sense of humor, whatever? They are smart and funny and beautiful.

Elise

Oh if only I could preserve that feeling for my girls. I wish that we lived in a world that didn't make women feel as though they should shrug off compliments or belittle themselves or base their value on the jiggliness of their thighs. I for one am vaguely offended when I give someone a compliment that they shrug off. Compliments are gifts and they should be trusted and accepted. When does that change happen? When do girls start to view every compliment as suspect?

I am doing my part. I continue to work to silence that negative voice. Oddly I find it most difficult to silence when I am around other women. Ladies, we gotta stop this. You know what I am talking about right? You're out with a friend and she says something negative about herself. Instead of stopping your friend (you wouldn't let anybody else talk about her that way, why is it OK if she does?)you hop on the band wagon and say something negative about yourself. Why do we do that? That is a really dumb way of connecting with our gender. So please join me. Let's all knock it off, be kind to ourselves and cultivate our confidence (do it for the children---said in a quavering whisper).

and since this is vaguely related....



7 comments:

Michelle said...

I think we are taught not to be vain or egotistic (which we should not be), but we translate that into thinking it is prideful if we accept a compliment with a simple "Thank you." And, of course, there are people who say negative things about themselves to elicit a response about how fine they are--hinting for compliments. Sadly, some have had their self-worth so eroded they really believe the negatives they state about themselves. They hope for some reassurance in return, but then can't accept it.

Sarah Purdy said...

You're so right. I've made such a concerted effort to always use positive self talk around my daughter and yet when I'm with friends, I don't. Arrrg!

Also, Elise looks like an adorable Brooklyn hipster in this picture. I imagine her wearing high waisted, rolled up jean shorts that have been bleached out and then dyed yellow. And lace up boots. And knee socks...of course.

Stacy said...

Agreed. I do a somewhat decent job of challenging those comments. I can be better though. And I wish others would too.

Mom said...

Well said. However, I am a bit suspect that you wrote that whole wonderful post just so as to have an excuse to slip in some "Sound of Music".

Just kidding...

Pam Brewer said...

This is SO true. Some women I work with constantly say, "I'm braindead", or "I had a blonde moment", or "I'm such an air head". I NEVER hear men degrading themselves that way. You're right, I need to challenge their thinking.

Tammie said...

word! i am SO OVER the whole idea of women and gals not seeing themselves for the fabulous people they are. life is too short.

Kate said...

Your girls are so, so lovely. Inside and out. Well, not that I've met them, but with a momma like you they couldn't be otherwise.

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