Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Nice Cordelia, Bad Cordelia, Sad Cordelia

Cordelia

Last summer, right around the time Elise was born, Cordelia started to throw occasional tantrums. Generally the tantrums revolved around not getting her way, very typical stuff for that age. Over time these episodes have begun to fade into nothingness as Cordelia is more capable of expressing her desires and accepting when things don't go her way. One thing remained...and it's kinda weird.

Cordelia developed imaginary friends, kind of. It started as a blame game. When she would misbehave she would say,"It wasn't me. I am nice Cordelia. Mean Cordelia did that, but I sent her away." Ummmmmmm. We really weren't sure what to do with that. We kind of said things like, "We like it when you are nice Cordelia," or "Everyone does the wrong thing sometimes, that doesn't make you Bad Cordelia."

I found it a little creepy, because if she found herself in timeout I could hear her talking to "Bad Cordelia"  She would say things like, "You did this, they think I am bad Cordelia now" and then she'd respond to herself, "Yes, they think you're bad now.  They're going to leave you in time out forever." It was like Smeagol and Gollum dialogue coming out of a beautiful little lady.




OK perhaps it is nothing like that....


Of course I would talk to her and reassure her while secretly laughing at my kooky little girl. Over time "Sad Cordelia" has joined the bunch and they're kind of like imaginary friends. So, we are just rolling with it.

Honestly I thought imaginary friends were creative and cool. Now I realize they are creative and a teensy bit creepy. I love my strange and wonderful girl!

7 comments:

Pam Brewer said...

I have those personas as well. I call one of them "my evil twin". Children are so delightfully real! She knows she did the misdeed, but a part of her recognizes it was her shadow side. That's what makes us human. That thinking takes away the shame and helps us see ourselves as whole people, evil twins and all. It took me many years to get that concept. She's way ahead of most people!

Emily said...

Leah has always had imaginary friends, although they have recently faded away now that she is 8. She had one named "Emma" for a long time. I agree that it is both cute and a little creepy at the same time, but I know it is nothing to worry about. Thankfully you have Wonderful, Sweet, Funny, Nice Cordelia the majority of the time! :)

Kate said...

I'm sorry for laughing, Cordelia. One of my nieces, (my favourite, actually, but don't tell), had a whole entire family of imaginary friends. When she was 6, she killed them off with a car accident so she could have their pets! She's now 20 and is very gentle and thoughtful.

Michelle said...

Neither of my kids did the imaginary friend thing, though they did a lot of imaginative play, so I never had to deal with that. I do think you've got it just right, enjoying her individuality and imagination, her recognition that the Bad Cordelia isn't who she really wants to be; but by not pretending to recognize Bad Cordelia as an entirely separate entity you keep it real and sane. You are such very good parents. In so many parenting moments we've all just had to go by instinct, and you have good instincts!

Stacy said...

Ha! Definitely kind of funny, kind of creepy.

Tammie said...

i had imaginary friends as a kid. i think they are helpful in getting through the day for us sensitive types.

Sarah Purdy said...

I agree with Michelle - you're on the right track!

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