Thursday, February 4, 2016

Trying

 I used to consider myself a fairly confident and decisive person. I had a direction, even if it was changing. I knew where I was going. I did not do much second guessing of my choices and decisions. Then I became a mother.


Sometimes I wake up at night and I am filled with uncertainty. I will run through the events of the day. Did I say the right things to my children? Did I set a good example? Was I too harsh or too lenient? Did I give them too little attention? Too much attention? Did they have enough time to be just kids? Did they have enough structure? I can run myself to the ground with those types of questions.

I know I am not alone in that feeling. I know so many parents who worry about their parenting, trying their hardest to do the right thing for their children and their family. 

Recently I was talking with a friend, who works with a variety of families, and she was sharing with me some stories of neglect. I have no idea how she can hold it together in her position, but I am thankful that there are people who work to be a voice of kindness and reason in the lives of children who so desperately need parents to worry more for them.  

That night after talking with my friend I lay in the dark counting all of the ways that I may or may not have done right by the girls that day and I thought of the things my friend had told me. I decided to cut myself a little slack. I reminded myself that all I can do is try and be the best mother I can be for my girls. I also need to remind myself that there are so many other people in their lives that are helping them to grow in love. While I never get it right all of the time I can get it right some of the time and that will just have to be enough as long as I continue to try.

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