Thursday, January 5, 2017

Steady

I nailed it yesterday! Four hours of focused homeschool (this is standard), 35 minutes of yoga, 10,000 steps, 3 square meals, ten minutes of guided meditation, a clean house, completed a commission, made a sketch, read a few books to the kids, pick ups drop offs, some down time with a hot bath, evening conversation with my husband, a movie, read a couple of chapters before bed. I mean those kinds of days I feel unstoppable! Do you ever have those days? The kind where you feel like you did everything you meant to do? I feel such a high when I sense that I did everything I meant to do in a day.

When I am in the midst of one of those days I think,"Dang!! Why don't I just do this every single day?"

Then I have a day like today. It isn't a bad day or anything. I woke up after a decent night of sleep. The girls got going and were great. But I have a headache and my pants fit weird around the back of one knee. Do you know what I am talking about? Just a mood of mild annoyance. I meditated and felt better and then something put me back into a funk. Why couldn't I just be like I was yesterday? 

Sometimes I feel like I am in a boat in a sea of feeeeelings so many feeelings. I get smashed with waves, sometimes it is euphoria and others annoyance or heartache or despair (when I think about paying student loans for the rest of time) or whatever. Those feelings are all part of this human experience and we are richer for them, but I am looking to be a little less rocked by them. Maybe focus more on observing those feelings and not having to react to each wave that comes my way.

So that is it, I am thinking a lot more about focusing my days to be steady, not full of highs or lows, just steady. 

 

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