Thursday, March 9, 2017

Embracing Chaos

One thing that I have learned over the past seven years of motherhood is that life is total chaos. I think that prior to motherhood it was easy to kind of feel a sense of order, but all of that changed one September day in 2009. Since that moment I have come to deeply know that there is no real order. All of it is chaos. Any moment that we feel like things are really sorted is the moment that chaos laughs in our face. You just cleaned the floor? Well that bucket you are siphoning the dirty fish tank water into has a hole in it and everything is now on the floor and a dog and a cat will drink it (barf) while a child slips and falls into it (double barf).


Now I wake up in the morning, before the sun rises, sometimes before it is well and truly morning. The chaos begins the moment little eyes open and I hear that first "Moooom." For instance this morning it was dark and I heard the sound of them waking so I waited and sure enough little feet made big stomps into the bedroom. There sweet snuggles for about 5 minutes before Bumblebee needed outside and then Elise needed to dress like an alien. Cordelia helped her into an alien outfit. Then there was a fairy funeral in a cup. There were cartoons and work emails and teeth wiggling and more snuggles and feet warming in front of a space heater and cats meowing and dogs barking and wind howling and coffee brewing and art making and class prepping.


There has been spilled coffee and another broken lightbulb. There has been dog medicating and cat poop scooping and laundry folding. And now it is 7:39 and I am blogging. 

I have a very general sense of where this day will take us, points on a map: homeschool, preschool, teaching, dinner with my parents and bedtime. Those are things that must happen. I have a long list of things I hope to accomplish. Some days I really make a dent in that list and other days I just give in and let it happen as it will.   I don't much mind the chaos, but it is my job to also make that chaos structured enough to keep these girls feeling secure and supported. And with that it is time to get this wonderful crazy train back rolling out of the station.

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