A few years ago when Eric and I were living in Montana (I miss you MT) we signed up for a yoga class. We were a little nervous when we stepped into our first real yoga class, we had taken a brief intro years earlier. We had to take off our shoes and we didn't know where to put our stuff, where to roll out our mats, what to do as we waited for class to begin. I seem to remember feigning some awkward stretches.
Then we spotted our teacher; she was super petite, crazy buff, with wild and curly black hair that was never really under control. She seemed very kind, but also very intense--- and she was really into yoga. We saw her do handstands, balancing poses, inversions, etc. on that first day and it was completely intimidating. She did it all with control and gentleness. We could have hightailed it out of that class, but we were both intrigued--what if we could do some of those things, have that peaceful look, that calm control?
Soon we were in class 5 days a week, seriously investing ourselves in yoga. We would walk into class, ready and excited to be there. We started applying to grad schools the following year and our yoga teacher suggested that instead of grad school we focus on yoga. We guffawed at the suggestion (yep, guffawed) and continued on with our plans. I regret that guffaw, because I know that would have been a totally sound choice. I love yoga and I love Montana, but I felt as though I needed to go to grad school at the time. We assured ourselves that those plans would continue to include yoga....but they didn't, at least not for several years.
Over the course of those several years I found my life growing in new ways and it was all very exciting, but I always felt a little off. I was busy with school, work, art, Bumblebee, then motherhood. I knew that I missed yoga and I would need to return to it at some point, but there were so many hurdles and distractions.
Finally I decided to ignore all of those hurdles and distractions and just give myself a little time. Well, truthfully Eric nearly forced me to make that time for myself, what a great hubby I have! I am excited to say that I am finally back into a regular practice, reminding my body what it is to do yoga. I found that I have new arm strength thanks to Cordelia and tight hip muscles, thanks to grad school. I am a different person than I was when I first started yoga, but I am happy to be starting from here.
Obviously there are still many distractions, but I am continuing on in spite of them. I hope to be a good example to my daughter, but I also hope to remind myself of the strength I know I possess. After every class I come home and happily go about life as usual, but I feel a subtle change-- a quiet happiness as though a piece of the puzzle is being carefully put back into place.