When I was pregnant with Cordelia Eric and I were a little bit panicked about what stuff we needed to acquire in order to ensure the safest, healthiest, happiest, most well adjusted baby EVER. OK, we really weren't all that bad, but it was always on our minds. We talked about how we would parent and raised all sorts of hypotheticals.
I remember so many experienced parents telling us that all we needed was a handful of outfits, blankets, and the bare essentials for cleaning and grooming a little being that pukes and poops more than one might imagine. Of course we knew this was all true, but when you are waiting to be a parent it is sometimes such a comfort to hold those little things as a reminder of the life that will soon arrive.
The second time around is a bit different. We have tubs of left over clothes in case we have a girl, some will work for either gender. So, we've held on to it. The baby toys are all in a box in the closet, waiting to be held in chubby little hands or waved in front of uncoordinated eyes.
We really haven't had it in us to hunt for new things for this baby because we don't really want for much at this point. However, once I passed into the second trimester and I could breathe a sigh of relief I began to feel like I wanted something just for this little one. So, on a recent thrift store venture I spotted this soft white sweater. I couldn't help myself. I tossed it into my cart and took it home. The sweater should fit perfectly this fall.
I hung it up and now I take a moment each day to look at it, to connect the external to the internal and to give this baby a moment of undivided attention. A pregnancy with a toddler around allows for much less pondering on my part, so I sometimes feel as though I need to make a concentrated effort to just direct my thoughts to this little being who is already so very precious to us.
One thing that remains the same is the constant question of "Who are you in there?" I don't know who I am growing, what they will be like and how they will impact our lives. With Cordelia I could never have imagined the things that she does, those little things that make her so unique and quirky. I look forward to discovering those kinds of quirks in our second child as well.