Eric and I were recently talking about life before and after kids. The conversation started with a bit of nostalgic reminiscence, something to the effect of, "remember when we could just go out and (fill in the blank) without any advance planning." We reminisced fondly as we each remembered moments where our relationship was our only responsibility.
Early in our marriage we were living in the world's smallest apartment and we were probably living in deep poverty, but we didn't really know it. We made loads of foolish decisions (let go of a scholarship and take a year off from college---great idea). Most nights were spent talking to each other, working on ridiculous projects and watching cheesy movies. We had freedom, or as much freedom as poverty and big dreams allow. It was great, but we were always talking about the future a time when we would be grown up, not just in numbers, but in actions. We imagined paying all of our bills and having more than $50 to get us through the month. We imagined eating healthy food, not just the buy 10 for $1 boxes of mystery foods. We imagined owning a home and we imagined having a family...but all of that seemed so very far away.
Once we got our poop in a group with our education and finances we started to feel a bit more comfortable and it meant it was time to change things up a bit. Time to start a family. Time to leave the city.
Now, here we are as passable adults. We have a home and kids and a retirement plans and savings...things that seemed as elusive as a yeti a decade ago. While our time might not be as self-indulgent as it once was it is vastly more full. While we may not be able to pick up and go on a whim it just doesn't matter.
Our nights are no longer about going to a show downtown, the latest gallery opening or having a drink with friends...instead we read Pirate Pete's Talk Like a Pirate for the zillionth time and snack on soy yogurt.
While most nights are quite mellow we have managed to find a good balance. We do get out to openings (often the whole family). We still get to see shows. We haven't given up our identities by any stretch, we have just found a more fulfilling balance and I suppose that it the whole point of growing up....but I will let you know when we are really there.