I think I was about 15. I was at the Diamond Inn in Alamogordo, NM. It was fall, the air was a bit chilly, New Mexico chilly. I remember that there were some bands playing. Eric's band was playing that night, though that was before Eric and I were Eric and I. I was there with a couple of girl friends. We were dressed to kill, or you know the 15 year old 90s version of that. I am pretty sure my acne sprinkled face had been spackled with foundation. I probably had a wild color of eye shadow and some glitter for good measure.
We did a round or two to scope the scene. Teens aplenty. I was feeling excited and totally insecure. My friends were insecure as well, but they had a different way of approaching their insecurities...they wanted all eyes on them?!?!? My friend suggested that we all dance, even though there were no other people dancing. Ahhh! While I am a total extrovert, that was not my thing. I couldn't dance. Yet, I found myself standing in the middle of the dance floor; a raised platform in the middle of a sea of judgmental teens. Oh, how I wished that I could be free and dance with abandon. Instead I made some jerky movements and essentially mimed out the robotic version of what my friends were doing before awkwardly retreating to the shadows of judgement.
And that was about it for my public dancing, with the exception of a seniors dance in college...and by seniors I mean senior citizens dance (long story) and boy were they judgmental.
So, I resigned myself to a lifetime of head nodding to music and even that was a stretch. Sometimes Eric and I would have ridiculous dace-offs in the privacy of our own home, but nothing that was just dancing.
Then came Cordelia. Everything changed. No, I certainly didn't gain any skill, or sense of timing.
I did learn how to just let go and enjoy.
My girl showed me what it was to simply enjoy jerking my body around like a spaz while music blared in the background.
I probably won't be taking this show on the road as I suspect it might not be as graceful as it feels, but boy does it feel good to high kick and flail with reckless abandon.