Monday, July 27, 2009

Need Some Ideas

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We have lived here for just a few short months, but we're having difficulty making friends. I need your help. Here's what we're looking for:
  • Nice people. I think that is more than obvious. Who wants mean friends?
  • People who are at least respectful of our veganism. We don't need our friends to be vegan, but we do need them to understand that we are vegan. It seems simple enough, but we're in cowboy country.
  • People who are comfortable being around a baby. I mean that kind of goes without saying.
  • Some folks who have a good sense of humor.
Now, we've been trying to make friends, but it's a little awkward. Eric's work isn't really an option. He mostly works with the 80+ crowd. So, we've been trying to go to local events an such, but we're having difficulty breaking the ice.

Where do you go to make friends? Any suggestions are welcome!

25 comments:

Imene said...

That's a tough one ... It's the third time in my life I had to make friends again. First time when I moved to Paris and second time when I moved to the US.
I would try to go with the MOMS club once your baby is here or maybe your neighborhood has a newcomers association. But don't worry it wil come.

Ben said...

You must first win their respect by starting an enormous bar fight followed by an introspective coffee the next morning in the corner booth of a village inn. It is there that a community representative will tip their cowboy hat at you; this is a sign that you are in.

The Grandpa said...

Unitarian Universalism is a non creedal church founded on humanistic principles. You can be an atheist and still be accepted as part of a UU community. I've moved 4 times in the last 9 years and the UU congregation has always been the place that's been most conducive to making friends. It's worth one visit.

Good luck. I know how hard it is to pull up roots and go somewhere and have to find friends all over again.

Annie said...

You have to hang that poster all around town. ;-) It's so cute! The photos below are magnificent.

45+ and Aspiring said...

This really is a tough thing once you are out of school where you meet people naturally. And when only one of you is working, that makes it harder too (we have the same situation because Hubby works from home). Plus, we are not church people and that is always what people recommend! (Although if you have Unitarian Universalist churches there they are noncreedal and would be very accepting of veganism and are super big on religious education and babies. The church tends to attract artsy people looking for spirituality and the religiously wounded.)

I'm always envious of those with kids because it seems like they have many many more natural ways of meeting people. . esp as the baby gets more active. You'll meet people at the playground or swim classes etc. But that's a ways off. . .

Then, be open. . .I loved your picture because I told Hubby once that I was going to post a want ad that said: Wanted one friend within a 15 minute drive of my house to chat with me while I fold laundry and such. . .

I ended up becoming super good friends with . . . my hair stylist. Sometimes it's easier to make a connectiong with someone you have a reason to be relaxed around on a repeated basis. Right now I'm hopeful about becoming better friends with our dog trainer (and I'm eying my hair stylist here).

I can't believe I'm ranting on and on to you when we don't have a single local friend! But I am more hopeful for you with that friend-attracting baby on the way.

Oh, and try using Bumblebee as your lure. Go places with other dogs and if someone looks interesting suggest you meet again to do a dog thing and see how it goes from there.

I miss the freedom of childhood where kids just run up and play together and say, "Will you be my friend?"

Maria Rose said...

Thanks Grandpa, but my Dad is a pastor at the Lutheran church. We're pretty set on that one, but there aren't many folks our age.

Nikki Cardigan said...

You two are gorgeous. I wish I lived in cowboy country because I'd be your local friend.

With people tending to keep to themselves, I can appreciate what you are saying. Are there any local groups you can get involved with that link to your hobbies? And when your girl arrives, will you be part of a mother's group?

..... Carmen said...

Hook yourself into a local Moms group - either through a pregnancy class or sometimes they'll have community ones that meet up once a week or so. Most of mine and Nate's friends who have kids have come from a group I met when I was 8 months along with Grace. It's been over 2 years now and we're all still in touch. Other than that though, it just takes time. When we moved from BC to Calgary it was a good solid year before we starting forming friendships that have lasted til now. Good luck! (Oh, and I wouldn't worry about the Vegan bit... if they are really meant to be your friend, they won't even worry about that and will easily accomodate you (that is what we've found with Nate's allergy anyways) :)

Mademoiselle Robot ❤ said...

Move to London and hang out with us!
xxx

Rebekah said...

I'd so volunteer to be friends if we lived close!
Check out meetup.com
You can maybe find local groups of similar interests- vegan, baby, creative...or start your own!
Good luck!

Chrissy said...

Our city has a parents club, also MOMS club, which I see someone has suggested... What's the age group of your immediate neighbors? And as my mom would say " how about church"?

Hello Lindello said...

love that photo of you two!

now for the question at hand....

where do you live? maybe i know some cool people near you! wouldnt that be neat?

here's other suggestions: prenatal yoga class, cooking classes, or community ed classes, volunteer, or buy a bocce ball set and invite your neighbors to play :)

the dwellers said...

I was just wondering the other day if you two uber-chic artists had found any kindred spirits in rural America.

I have empathy. We are definately our own social scene around these new parts. Wonder if bar fights and Village Inn would work in VA? Perhaps :)

Stacy said...

Is there a local meetup.com group? I've met some great people through that site. I can't believe people don't flock to you, especially when you take Bumblebee out on the town. It's so hard meeting new people when you are no longer in school...

AKM said...

I find it hard as well to meet new people. It just gets harder once we're grownups, doesn't it?

How about volunteering at the local animal shelter? You'd be sure to meet people who also love animals and promote their welfare.

I also think that once you have the little one, you'll meet other moms as you're out and about with her.

And...you can always move to St. Louis! ;-)

Carol said...

Have you tried joining like an ionterest group? I know here in Seattle we have the mountaineers club. Or possibly a photography club, or something like Junior League?

sophie said...

It's tricky I know. It will be easier when the baby arrives because I am sure you will attend a mothers group or something like that (our local council offers these). Can you join any other groups in the area? Reading/cooking/sewing??

Robin said...

I got nothing babe. My brain is fried.

But love the pic!

jumbleberryjam said...

Such beautiful people you are! Who?? wouldn't want to be your friends??

Seriously, though. Once your wee one arrives, friends seem to appear out of no where. I have met many on Mothering.com discussion fora (they have a "tribe" section where you can find people in your area). Also, yahoo groups...you can search by city or the type of friends you want to make (hipsters, vegans, etc.)

Hanging out in coffee shops with this poster and starting bar fights also sound good to me! ;0)

sherri said...

Auuugh! just stumbled upon your blog and we've lived where we have for five years and still haven't met another couple with more in common with than that we have kids. So hard isn't it? It seems the older you are, the harder it is to meet folks, esp. ones w/things in common. And the same senses of humor. And taste in music. I think I'm picky. Anywhoo, dig your blog, will be coming back.

sherri said...

and I second the whole idea of trying meetup.com, that is where I've found the few friends I have here, look for a local parents or vegan group in your area, worth a try!

Elizabeth said...

i like the neighborhood party idea. play croquet or bocce ball. and have a small treat. or have a potluck. so what if the people aren't your age? we have neighbors of all ages and i love to visit with them all. :) same with church. it's nice to have a mix of ages. it's easier to find babysitters if everyone isn't your exact age . . . :)

Pam Brewer said...

Hi Maria-- I got a good laugh out of "Grandpa's" comments. At first I thought it was your Dad. I was stunned to think he may be a closet Unitarian--I'm so glad you cleared that one up! It may be a challenge to find like-minded friends in Casper. When you do find them, they'll be a treasure. They're looking for you, too!
(I understand if you chose not to post this comment.)

valariebudayr said...

Ok...here's what we did when we moved from Portland,Oregon to Tennessee.
There is a local friday paper. We put and ad in the paper saying who we were, that we were looking to meet the people of Maryville and that we would be at a certain cafe in town, on a certain day. Please stop by our coffee klatsch to say hello.
So many people came. We have many friends from our little coffee klatsch. Many of our friends are vegan too. 14 years later I can deem our little coffee klatsch meet n'greet worked like a gem.
Good luck and keep us posted on the friend finding.

Jill said...

I also need some ideas. It's like dating again! How to meet adults???

When was it ever this hard to meet a real friend!
I'm working on it over here in California too. Good luck to you both!

Gotta go strike up some conversation with strangers and/or start a bar fight.

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