Friday, September 11, 2009

A Few Things That I Will Miss

Before I was on this road to motherhood I looked at women who had children with a sense of awe because they had embarked upon this mysterious portion of womanhood that I had not discovered. I could hear about it from friends and family, but of course I couldn't really understand what these women meant. I don't know if it's something about our society or just the way that life generally is, but there is this cloud of mystery surrounding the whole process. Now that I find myself nearing the end of the pregnancy portion of motherhood I understand why some of the things go unsaid. Some of those quiet moments between mother and child, between the father and mother, between family and friends cannot be described in words, only experienced.

Photobucket

Lately a few people have mentioned that they will miss me being pregnant. I am not sure what this means for them, but I can tell you that there are some things that I will miss about being pregnant.

I will miss feeling her wiggle around inside of me and being filled with a sense of awe about the fact that I have no control over those movements, someone else has started to live inside of me and her presence is so deeply felt.

I will miss talking with Eric about all of the possibilities and guessing details. The mystery is just so much fun.

I will miss quiet moments when I can just focus on being exactly where I am.

I will miss knowing that she is so protected and safe. The world is an amazing and beautiful place and I can't wait to share that with this little girl, but the simple protection of my body is something that I will never be able to offer her again.

I will miss the knowing smiles and words of wisdom (which I am sure I will continue to receive in a different format) from other women. While the advice may or may not be helpful it's really given me a sense of being connected to other women and their lives and to a larger degree to being human in general.

I will miss the physical part of this whole ordeal. I am one who tends to live in my head and it has been quite a change to be so focused on every twinge and every movement of my body. It's so easy to take for granted, until you are busy cooking up a whole person.

I will miss laying on the couch with Eric and watching my belly, it's just really entertaining.

Anyway, that is by no means a comprehensive list, but I just wanted to write some of it down as soon I will be experiencing something entirely different.

9 comments:

Our Green Nest said...

I'm so glad you're enjoying this time rather than hating it like many women. It all comes down to your peace of mind and attitude and yours is very positive obviously which is doing wonders for your little one and will definitely do so during labor! I loved being pregnant too SO very very much...it was amazing. Of course, once the little ones come out it's even better though!! Love that shot of you too by the way. It's so sweet and maternal. :)

Josiane said...

That's a sweet list! Well, a bit sweet and sour for me, as the mystery will remain a mystery. It's nice, though, to read about your experience. Thank you for sharing it.

Annie said...

Beautiful thoughts. But the good thing is that you don't really have time to miss those things when the baby is born (depending on the baby of course...). I miss my private moments because I don't really have them anymore. If both the kids are asleep, I usually have to rest too or finish something I've started.

It's wonderful that you can think of the world as a beautiful place. I mostly think about all the threats out there and worry about my kids all the time. But worrying is part of motherhood and I'd rather worry than be naive (not saying that you're naive, but I know mothers who are or then they're just careless...)

Despite not really having any private life anymore, I'm enormously grateful for my children. I wish I could just look at them all the time because it's so amazing that they are here, that they exist. Where on earth (or universe) did they come from?? You're right, there are no words to describe some things. Some things are just wonders and you can only sense them.

On my way Home... said...

Thank you for sharing this... it echoes similar feelings I've had, but haven't been able to put to words.

gardenmama said...

I adored every minute of all three of my pregnancies it made me smile to read your post, you have described with such sweetness and pure love these tender and miraculous moments. Many blessings to you mama as you take this beautiful journey! Children are an incredible gift at every age what a treasure it is to be called mama : )

the dwellers said...

What a blessing that these past 9 months have been so wonderful for you. As this season ends, please be encouraged that parenting really gets better after pregnancy.

Little wiggles are replaced with warm after-nap snuggles.
Instead of talking with your husband about who your baby will be, you talk about the possibilities of what your child will become.
Fellow moms still exchange smiles and knowing looks.
Quiet moments... well, I do miss those :)

Beautiful post, your daughter will so enjoying reading it someday.

Robin said...

Even though when I was pregnant I didn't like it... your post did make me miss a few things. And each pregnancy is different, so maybe the next one I have will be the one where I love every moment.

And as for the experiences that cannot be described in words, all of those are simply wonderful and you will know them very soon yourself.

Amanda said...

Lovely photo - you look so composed and so relaxed! :)

Court said...

I am definately with you on the safe one, I still feel that way with Kaiya sometimes and now that she's tearing off ahead of me as I slowly waddle after her I think of how tough it will be to have two tiny people to protect. But it's also so much better getting to know them instead of the idea of them, if that makes sense.

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