Monday, June 11, 2012

Sisters

When I was in junior high, living in small town Montana, there were a pair of sisters who moved to town. I knew of them, but never had met them as they were a bit older and a lot cooler than I was (remember this was how I looked at the time). Anyway, I was at a basketball  game (yes, I have a humiliating glorious history with basketball). My team was done playing and I was wandering around the gym trying to impress the out of town boys, since I was so cool. Keeping my aloof status in tact I decided to hang out in the women's bathroom and goof off with a few other awkward friends. We 12 year old girls were being witty and hilarious, honing the skills that were sure to impress pre-pubescent out of town boys, when the sisters came into the bathroom with a cloud of cool. They smiled at us and then went to do what normal people do in the bathroom: they used the facilities and fixed their make-up.

My friends went back to the gym, but for some weird and kind of creepy reason I lingered, listening to the sisters talk as they primped their dyed hair and put on cool girl make-up. I was completely struck by their easy friendship with each other. They had a cool and witty banter and the fact that they both had their own hip chick looks made a deep impression on me. I felt like I was looking through a tiny window into the strange and mysterious world of sisters.

I think that is probably when I started to really watch sisters, to see what they were like. How did they relate to each other? I didn't necessarily feel as though I needed a sister or anything, it was more of a scientific study on my part. Whenever I would meet sisters I would watch their relationship. Were they close? Were they similar? Was there jealousy? The whole thing was a total mystery to me as I had two brothers and that was something entirely different.

So, now that I am on the brink of mothering two girls I realize that I am getting to watch that unique relationship develop under my watch and guidance. My deepest hope is to raise two girls who are extremely close to each other while still being secure and confident in themselves. Eric and I have decided that the girls will share a room for a good deal of their childhoods, giving them more personal space a bit later on. So I have been prepping the room for two girls even though the baby will be in our room for the first bit. I started with the closet space and just split it down the middle.

baby

I have separated those things that are just for Cordelia. I set aside half of the baby clothes that I wore to pass on to her and the other half will belong to her sister. I set aside gifts and special handmade items that will remain special for Cordelia. I will do the same for the baby when she receives personal gifts. Mostly I am just trying to start them out feeling both special and individual.

shelf

I have a lot of theories about how to parent sisters....

toddler

but I am realizing that I have no real idea how to foster and nurture their relationship. I suppose much of it will be on their shoulders. Of course I assume that there will never be any jealousy or infighting.

shoes

I just find myself going to the closet and trying to figure out how to make this my first step into mothering sisters who love each other and have a lifelong friendship. Not that I am over-thinking this or anything, but do you have any wisdom or insight you care to share?

8 comments:

glutenfreehappytummy.com said...

beautiful post. Two little bundles of joy -- how exciting:) and such cute little baby shoes!!

Maria Rose said...

Thanks! We are really getting excited now. 35 days and counting down!

Carmen said...

No tips, as I have two brothers, but, always wished for a sister :). I look forward to seeing their journey unfold through your blog!

Kate said...

I a mothering a boy/girl sibling pair, 5 years apart. I, too, want my babes to be close, but we elected for separate bedrooms and a combined play area. I remain hopeful that their relationship will continue to be genuine and sweet, but I'm trying not to pin all my hopes on their shoulders. So far, there's not much difference between my boy babe and my girl!

Emily said...

I am an only child, but am now the mother of two girls (and a boy, as you know), so watching these girls of mine develop their own special friendship has been a joy to me. I think our role as mothers is to foster a safe and fun environment where that natural friendship can develop. You will do great!

Kate W. said...

I have two sisters, tho they are quite a bit older than me -- 12 & 14 years. So I think it came quite naturally to them to be little mothers when I was born! For me, however, it was harder -- finding that "sibling" relationship rather than a, well, "big sister" relationship. My oldest sister, Kim, got married when I was only 6. My middle sister, Kelly, was home for a bit longer, and I remember being closer to her than to just about anyone -- I remember running to her when mom or dad were mad at me! When we lost her to cancer two years ago, it was devastating to both Kim and I. They were quite close as they grew up only two years apart. Hard as that was, I can see the blessing in it, because I've now become closer to my oldest sister -- I've actually been able to develop a "sibling" relationship with her, and I love it! I think a lot of their relationship will come about naturally -- some, maybe, from observing you and your mom (as I know you're close) as well as you and your brothers. And of course, from observing the love and respect between you and Eric -- that will transfer to the girls, as well. You will be an awesome mommy to these two sweet girls -- and I hope you have fun watching them bond, and love, and play, and argue, just like all siblings should!!

Rachel said...

not a clue!! i also grew up with two (older) brothers but i am enjoying all your thoughts!! =)

Susan Struck said...

You will follow your loving instincts and those will be the luckiest of little girls!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...