Trial Run

Yesterday was Cordelia's first preschool graduation. All of her friends, the ones she has known for half her life, are going to kindergarten next year. She misses the cut off by 13 days (never mind that she has the vocabulary of a 15 year old) and is destined for another year of preschool.

She wanted to "graduate" with all of her buddies so we went to graduation last night. It was a way to say goodbye as many of these kids will never see each other again. Of course the closest pals all have mothers with whom I am in contact (summer play dates) and will remain friends.

Although it will be strange next year. Many of the other mothers have become friends as we do the pick up and drop off, the play dates, birthday parties, etc. It is the end of a good time with new ones on the horizon.

We went to the ceremony last night, not planning on much more than feeling a little bummed out for Cordelia as she watches her pals move forward. Then Cordelia's teacher sang this song, "Let Them Be Little." I think you can imagine that it is about the fleeting nature of childhood. The song is so long when you are trying not to cry. I failed. I cried and tried to cover it up, but the tears wouldn't stop. So, there was that. I feel my feeling ok?!? Don't make me cry about it, because I will.

The rest of the graduation was great. The kids sang. They each accepted their diploma, they toured the crowd. Graduation number one down. How many more are there to come? Surely I will cry for each and every one.

Motherhood, emotions and stuff.

Pre-School Performance

Yesterday Cordelia had a pre-school performance. She has been practicing the songs and their accompanying hand jives for weeks (a welcome break from the still relentless singing of Let It Go), Elise even knows much of the music and motions from careful study of her big sister. The whole family (minus Ben and Sara who insist on living a bazillion miles away---some nonsense about a PhD in bioinformatics, kidding) was there to watch the show.

Cordelia had gone to bed quietly the night before because she needed to "rest up" and "be ready" for the big show. When she woke up yesterday morning she was ready and raring to go. She wolfed down her leftover pancakes, pausing occasionally to practice her songs. She picked an outfit that had a match in her sister's size, so that everyone would know that she and Elise are sisters (so sweet). Then she chose "the hat with the jewel," a hat that once belong to her great great grandmother Rose. She wears the hat regularly and feels quite special when she sports that classic beauty...and she should as it garners a LOT of attention and many compliments from people we know and even passers-by who are just too charmed by the little girl in the big hat.

 
Cordelia loves to put on a show (#futuretheatermajor #helpus), but she kind of froze up during the performance. She mostly did her thing, but with a lot less of the unbridled enthusiasm that we see at home. When she talked about it later she mentioned that she was a bit nervous in front of so many people, and there were a LOT of people there to watch the kids. She dramatically pulled her hat over her face at the end of one performance, sort of a diva move on her part, ten points for style. She nervously yawned. She stared and stared into the audience. She waved sweetly. She smiled. Her nose was picked. I didn't mind the nose picking so much as the girl behind  hiked up her own ensemble and scratched her bare bum nonchalantly as she sang. Ahh parenthood. I looked around at the audience of parents and grandparents, all of us with silly grins pasted on our faces as we joyfully watched our little children do their thing.


My mom and Elise



Hellloooo

Fun

Preschool is great for many things: play, socialization, learning, immune system building...

Yesterday was a sick day. Both girls have a cold. Elise was happy just to be snuggled, but Cordelia still wanted to do something. So I decided that it was time to break out the big guns. I had tucked a few of Cordelia's birthday gifts away after she had opened them; waiting for a slow day to bring them out.

Yesterday I brought out one of the coolest and most thoughtful gifts, a detective kit. The gift was from Cordelia's BFF Sadie, but her mother Sarah gets the credit. Check out the entire kit she made by clicking here. Cordelia is really into solving mysteries and this was exactly the perfect gift. She played with it for ages. If you are looking to entertain a 3 year old this is the way to go!


Cordelia with her detective badge and magnifying glass


Investigating

I was also recently gifted with a book called Mess: The Manual of Accidents and Mistakes.  The book is full of creative and messy exercises. While the book was a gift for me I decided to include Cordelia as she could use a lesson on the joys of being messy (unless it is meal time, she needs no help there). Anyway the book is meant to be destroyed; it's full of activities like pouring a colored liquid onto it from a great height, covering the page in adhesive and pouring powder (we chose cocoa powder) over it, rubbing the book in dirt, scribbling, tearing, etc.





Anyway, the sick girl was entertained!



Entirely unrelated...

What a Day

Yesterday was such a strange day. The mountain just south of town is on fire, really on fire (over 10,000 acres by yesterday afternoon). Sunday night I stood in our living room and I could see the dark mountain silhouetted by an orange glow. The whole scene was quite dramatic and was well-matched to how I was feeling on the inside. Monday was a big day, Cordelia's first day of preschool.

I went to sleep Sunday night with a sick feeling in my stomach. This was to be the first time that Cordelia had been left with a non-family member. In the dark of night I ran through ridiculous scenarios in my mind. What if there was a tornado while she was in school? Or the fire suddenly spread and covered several miles in the blink of an eye? Or a super-volcano in Yellowstone decided to erupt? I also had more practical worries like: Will Cordelia feel confident asking to use the restroom? Will she have fun? Is this the right thing to do?---I am admittedly a bit of a major neurotic nighttime worrier.

Anyway, morning came. Cordelia awoke with great enthusiasm.  I was very careful to foster her excitement for the big day. Eric was able to go into work a little late so he could see that our first born was OK. We went through the morning routine. Cordelia was dressed and ready to go. Photos were taken.


This is the face she gives when asked to smile...


Oh that backpack is so big on our little girl. The school requires standard size backpacks.

We left the house with enough time to get there a bit early. Looking up at the mountain we could see clouds of smoke billowing up into the blue sky.  I tried not to let the fire in the mountains match my mood for the morning. I kept telling myself, it's just preschool, it's not every day, etc.

Cordelia, on the other hand, was so eager to get there. We reviewed her teacher's name, who to go to when she needs something, etc. Then we were there. We walked inside and went through the check in process.



Cordelia was excited. We said goodbye and assured her that we would soon be back for her. When we were leaving she hesitated for a moment. I was doing everything in my power not to cry in front of her and I was on the edge of the edge. She was instantly distracted and happy. We left. I cried. Actually I later described it as an ugly cry. My heart was breaking. There was such drama and emotional turmoil. I simply wanted to run back in and grab my girl...but of course I didn't. The whole drama was occuring inside of me. Oh the pain of growing up is hard for parents. I swear, the door to her preschool room closed and her entire childhood flashed before my eyes. Letting go, even a little bit, is so hard.

So, we left. Eric was stoic.I indulged in my motherly moment of hysteria. Then it was almost time to pick Cordelia up. She was, of course, so happy. She had a great time, made a friend, she likes her teacher and she spent the rest of the day singing a new song she had learned.

Perhaps I am willing to admit a bit of an overreaction here. Yes, it sucks to let go of one phase, but how amazing it is to watch this child grow into the vibrant person she is meant to be. I have a duty to nurture her outgoing spirit and her inquisitive mind.