Yesterday I was out to lunch with my dad and we got to talking about interviews. He wants to interview my mother asking her totally random questions. I think that is a fantastic idea. Then I suggested he give me some questions...he did and it was weird and random...here are the questions he asked and my answers.
1. Describe your diving style.
OK, so this one requires a little back story. You see there is a series of now infamous family home video of me "diving." My dad finds great joy in my style. He likes to bring the videos out and laugh at them from time to time.
Let me paint a mental picture for you. Me, awkward and pre-adolescent, at the pool at my grandmother's apartment. My favorite swimsuit from this series involved suspenders, seriously. Anyway, I am on the diving board and there might be some awkward boasting on my part. Then I pinch my nose and jump, no actual dive happens, but I do keep my legs tightly together to the knee and then my lower legs and feet fly about with a style that can only be described as unique. Jealous?
2. Who wrote the classic jingle"Window Tinting by Gus?" Why does it raise such strong emotions?
Yep, you'll need some back story here as well. When I was in high school my family lived in Alamogordo, NM. We have this family habit of singing off signs, you know setting any sign we see to music. Well, one day we were driving down the road and we passed a sign advertising Window Tinting, By Gus. I am not sure who exactly set it to a tune, but it was a tune and it ended on a high note. Anyway, it became a weird family anthem. I think my brother Ben sang it with the greatest conviction.
3.In pre-vegan days did you ever go to Long John Silver's and order in pirate talk? Honesty would be appreciated here.
I always order everything in pirate talk, even when I order online....don't you?
4.How do you feel about the word cummerbund? And why is Eric wearing one right now?
I love the word. It has a certain resonance to it, something magical.
Eric always wears a cummerbund under his clothing because it makes him feel fancy, I kid. Or do I?
5.Which one of your parents was the good cop and which was the bad cop? Why?
Seriously dad, duh. Mom was the good cop. She is pure and virtuous and kind. My dad is the bad cop.
Example : In high school I approach my father and ask to borrow the car he gives a response like this
"Well....." Then nothing, no response, nothing. If I ask again a definite no.
6. How do you feel about being a J wanna be?
OK, my father is referring to the Meyers-Briggs personality tests. My personality is ENFP. Without diving into personality type theory too deep I will say that the P stands for perceiving and means that I am a natural slob (among other things) and the alternative is J which means judging and often means that the individual is more orderly. I do wish that I could be organized and less chaotic, but I find it utterly joyless to maintain the systems that require such order. I will clean the house, but I do it differently each time. I will go through the paperwork and bills to file and become distracted making art with the cool paper that lines the inside of envelopes (have you noticed some of those prints?!). Anyway, I embrace my own chaos and am thankful that I have people who are willing to accept that I am a bit of a mess maker.
7. In a battle of cool points who wins you or your dad?
Neither of us are cool...
8. Would you like to bite any of these questions? Why?
OK, more explanation here. When I get frustrated I want to bite things. I just do. I rarely bite, but sometimes I do, just a little.
No, I do not want to bite any of the questions.
9.Did this questions make you yawn? Did you consider the last question cyber bullying?
Yes. I did yawn. Rude.
Yes, I did.
10. Can a person wear too much denim? Hint: It's a rhetorical question.
I know that my father believes there is no limit to the amount of denim a person can wear, but I beg to differ. I do think there is a limit. There should be a limit. With that said, I am the girl who once wore a bathing suit that featured suspenders, what do I know?
Thanks for reading along with the weirdest interview of all time.
