No Culture

I have long struggled with a desire to have a cultural heritage. I am tangentially envious of people who have a distinct culture in which they grew up. When I was in high school in NM I would visit friends whose families had strong inter generational connections. Grandparents and parents were all linked and shared stories and traditions. Of course many of my friends were, at the time, frustrated or embarrassed by their families...teens am I right?

Later in life I gained exposure to more people from a variety of cultures from the Nepalese family across the hall in Denver, to the ranch family in Wyoming. All of these people have rituals and shared histories that they received from their  elders and are passing along to their children. I love that these histories and traditions are ever changing and evolving, yet also fixed.

I yearn to feel a part of something. It has always felt a bit like I am on the outside looking in on other people’s worlds. Do you feel that way? 

I would hang on to the tiniest scraps of heritage. For instance my family is partially Norwegian. So I embraced lefse and the unique spelling of my name, but I am in no way connected to Norway and if I go there I will just be an American.

It is ok to be American, but our very nature is that we are a united mixed bag. Honestly there is nothing cohesive about being an American now.

So, I got to thinking about the origins of tradition/culture/heritage. Perhaps I am the seed taking root and not the branches of tree. It is a bit lonely, but also exciting to think that something can grow from that desire.

Desert Offerings

I have this new habit. Every day when I take Betty for a walk (Bumblebee can’t take walks anymore) I find something in the desert. Sometimes it is a piece of gnarled wood, discarded marble tiles, a piece of beautiful garbage, whatever. I am not sure why, but I feel compelled to hunt for something. 

I have a gorgeous collection of cholla skeletons and weathered branches, and beautiful stones. I feel like all of this is leading me to something, but I am not sure what.

Adventure

Yesterday my mom, the girls, and I went to the waterfall.

Instead of following  the trail back the girls wanted an adventure. For the girls that meant that we walked downhill in the creek.

It was really not much of a trek, but for the girls it was a wild adventure.

They had a grand time exploring, crouching under branches, navigating loose stones.

And when we made it down Cordelia insisted that we all put leaves in our hair to commemorate our wild adventure.

We all happily obliged.

And then it was out of the woods and back to the trail.

Adventure success.

Transitioning

Today is a really important day. Or maybe it isn’t. I hate to be vague, but that is just how it has to be for a little longer. We are starting to cross the bridge from one life phase and into the next. I am not sure where or when we will be on the other side, but it seems like we are on the brink.

We are most certainly in transition. Monday was Eric’s last day at the museum. He left work with little by way of goodbye, which was exactly as he wanted it, a quiet exit. We have just one more month to live in our beautiful home. The new owner seems amazing. I am particularly fond of her after she asked that we leave the giant google eyes on our front door. When I wake up in the night I wonder about her and how her family will be in this home? I think about the comforting noises of heater and pipes and refrigerator. The gentle hum of the dishwasher or the rattle of the branches in a wind storm. The early morning call of birds gossiping on the bushes. Soon enough our little family will be gone, those comforts will be for new owners. Will they love the garden? Will they care for this home? I hope so, but I am starting to make the mental break from this place. 

We are all on the brink of great change. In just over a month this time in our life, the yellow house phase, will be at an end and then we will be on to our new adventures.

Getting Ready to Show

Unrelated, but I found this baby today.

So last week we sold the house. It was so fantastic to be done with this insane cleaning and prep and moving of animals and kids. I had no idea how crazy the process can be, particularly with kids and animals. Then our buyers broke contract and we are faced with the daily cycle once again.

 I kinda feel like I am both Cinderella and my own wicked step-mother as I give myself orders. I just want to document for posterity’s sake the process that we go through for prep before each showing.

•Sweep and mop or vacuum every inch of floor.

•Put all dirty laundry from baskets in our rooms into the wash (not turned on) so it is out of sight.

• Wipe down windows and mirrors.

• Put away all toys.

• Put down toilet lids

•Stash mail and other personal objects

• Stash the dish drying rack.

• Put litterbox into hiding.

• Wipe down walls and surfaces.

•Clean kitchen 

•Clean bathrooms

• Put rugs out. The realtors suggested rugs in a couple of places, but we just put them away when we are not showing so we don’t have to clean them again and again.

•Put flowers in kitchen and bathroom. We keep the flowers up when we are not showing so kids and cats won’t mess with them.

•Turn off computer.

• Put away the gate that blocks the cat room from dogs.

•Put away pet beds and food/water bowls

•Loaf animals and children and any recycling into the car. 

•Spray something to make it smell like we don’t cook in our house...never have I been so aware of the smells our foods make. I can’t even think about making a curry until the house sells. 

Additionally our realtor gives us notes after each showing and they range from simple fixes (now the the snow has melted clean up some of the winter mess or leaves and branches) to major suggestions (like refresh the paint on the ceilings). We weigh these suggestions and decide whether or not we are willing to make any adjustments, as all of it takes time and money.

So this is just a ton of work, but we are getting it down to an art form at this point! Here is hoping that our house sells quickly. 

Slow Down

Yesterday afternoon was magic. My soul needed it desperately. Nothing really happened at all, but that was the most important part. The girls and I went out into the backyard. I set up the hammock. I laid in the hammock for about five minutes before the girls took it over.

 

The girls played for hours. I just worked in the yard, cleaning up the winter debris of leaves and fallen branches. I truly enjoy physical labor. I started to clean out garden beds. I basically just puttered around, working hard, but without a focused aim. I looked at caterpillars and weevils and worms and centipedes. I inspected new growth and I threw the ball for Betty Sprinkles. 

 

It was a grand first day of spring to be sure.

 

The girls made a mud pit and Cordelia asked,"Mom can we just let loose and get dirty?" I said,"Sure, but you have to get dirty from head to toe. They did.

 

There was a lot of laughter and exploring and all of it at the slow pace in which life is intended to be lived.

Later in the evening Eric and I were talking about it and he had mentioned a co-worker who had just returned from a trip to Italy. She had spoken with Eric about what an impression the slower pace of life had made on her.

We are so busy, always working and it is too much. Time to focus on the moments as they happen. Notice the way the sun feels on skin or dirt under nails, remember the sounds of tiny girls giggling. Taste the food we eat. Listen to the conversations we have. Be here now.

A Billion and a Hundred

 

That is not fog! That is blowing snow.

The winds are being clocked in by Elise at "a billion and a hundred." It is so windy here in Wyoming. Truly insane! We have gusts in the 80mph+ range, which is like hurricane force winds. For those of you non-Wyomingites let me tell you what this is like.

The Bad:

•The girls want to go sledding today and that isn't going to happen. Their sleds would be tiny sails that would blow them over and send them into orbit.

•We are stuck inside today and we all have cabin fever.

•Driving on ice and snow in the wind is madness. There is so much snow blowing that at times it is difficult to see the road.

•Power outages around town, but not in our neighborhood...yet.

•The curtains in the windows and even the toilet water (in the basement) are moving with the wind! I am not sure how the toilet water is moving, but it does...maybe something with the pipes?

 

The Good:

•I put off shoveling for a day and now the wind has mostly cleared our walkway and just made huge drifts in the yard.

•Pajamas until whenever. I have a studio visit this afternoon, but I can probably get away with studio visit in pajamas (eccentric artist perk). Not really. I will probably get adult clothes on soon. I can't be that person that wears pajamas all day unless I am sick.

•Being trapped indoors means that our entire home has been cleaned and Christmas stuff is already stowed away until next year. 

•All of the broken branches in our trees, including some very large ones, have been blown down...no more need to call an arborist! 

•Avoiding driving places saves money. We only go out and buy stuff if we absolutely must!

 

Sunday Quote: Under the Weight of flowers

Lilac branches are bowed under the weight of flowers: blooming is hard, and the most important thing is--to bloom.

~ Yevgeny Zamyatin

Seriously Now

There are only 55 days between now and summer. Today apparently decided to recycle January's weather. While it isn't exactly super cold we are all pretty over the snow.

We are getting a lot of snow today. I am not sure how much before this storm passes, but today we will be hanging out inside. Elise is pretty annoyed that we are skipping yard play, but the heavy snow on leafy branches means that we have a falling limb situation. It is all not as dramatic as it sounds, but it is better to steer clear of those branches.

All of the snow on flowering trees is quite beautiful, but I am itching to log some hammock time. 

Wind Blows

I was awakened by a loud thunk on the roof. Didn't even startle me...I knew what had happened. I could hear the wind and it was clear that a giant branch had fallen onto the roof. The really impressive fact is that there is not a tree above my bedroom. 

I know I have written about the wind on this blog before and you are probably like,"yo it is just wind." Let me give you some numbers; today the wind is blowing between 65-80+ mph in our town. For a little context a tropical cyclone is classified as a hurricane when it has maximum sustained winds of 74+mph. 

So the wind is like this character in our lives from October through April. It is a consideration that must be taken into account when making plans. For instance, even though it is an unseasonably warm day the girls and I will not be playing outside. The wind can knock Elise down, but there is also a danger from falling branches.

The wind impacts our entire lives, from the clothes we wear (no dresses) to the way we style our hair (ponytails). And don't even get me started on how sad it is to watch the birds try to fly.

All around our neighborhood the dumpsters are blown over as they are at the curb waiting pick up. I caught out before it blew down the street.

The thing is though, that even with the annoyance we Wyomingites have a sense of pride for having endured. Who knows why? When out of towners complain we are quick to sell them on the virtues of our state. It is a pretty great place to live in spite of the wind---which my mother reminds me keeps the air clean. It also blows all of the garbage to other states. So there is that...

Dreaming of Spring

The sun is out today and it is warm, well at least for Wyoming in February. The high is nearly 40F. Considering that at this time a couple of years ago it was -24F it feels downright summery. Although looking outside there are huge drifts of snow still sitting in the streets and I have to use 4wd to safely navigate the icy roads in my neighborhood. The sun, and break from the wind, has given all of us a new energy. The girls and I talked about picnics and laying in the grass this morning. I day dreamed about my hammock. Oh how I miss that hammock!

I have been thinking about warm soil and green growing things. I have been day dreaming about my garden and open windows and cool streams. When I look out at the naked branches in our neighborhood I can sense that they are considering their first leaves, preparing underneath their bark for another season of growth. And I can almost smell the lilacs. I love the smell of of a lilac bush more than almost anything. 



For now I am happy to listen to the chirping of the winter birds. I know that soon there will be a riotous wake-up from the bird thugs each morning at 5. I am eager for the gentle cooing of the mourning doves who nest in the easement behind our house. Evenings in the hammock with a book will become my norm soon enough.

Between now and then I will enjoy those cold nights snuggled under my great grandmother's quilt. I will soak up the silence of the snow and the sunlight shining through icicles while I dream of spring.

Invisible Ocean

People in this part of the world claim that it is the wind and not the cold that gives winter here a uniquely unbearable edge. The wind intensifies in the fall and by winter it can knock down a grown adult if they happen to be a bit unsteady on their feet, or say standing on ice. I have developed a way of kicking out one foot as I unbuckle children from the back seat. I have learned, through black and purple bruises to my shin, that the wind can slam a heavy car door shut, sandwiching my shins between car and door.

Usually the wind is most intense for a few days leading up to a winter storm. Trees shake their leafless branches violently in the gusting gale. The lilac bush scratches wooden fingers on the side of our house. I imagine the yellow paint flaking off and blowing into the breeze. At night I lay in bed, listening to the wind howling and imagine my house right next to an invisible ocean. The blowing air sounds like  ocean waves slamming against a rocky cliff. All that is missing is the high cry of seagulls.

Then suddenly it stops. This morning I happened to be half awake when the howling of the winds simply stopped. No slow die down, but a huge last gasp of air and then nothing. It was silent for the first time in days. I lay there in the blue half light and knew that snow had started to fall.

The quietly falling snow is like cotton balls in my ears after the past few days. The relentless energy and sound of the incessant wind are gone, replaced with silence and slowly falling flakes, which gently accumulate over the hours. 

Project: Make a Mushroom

For many years I have had an aversion to cute little mushrooms. Not eating them, I am totally fine with that. Something about the image of mushrooms themselves took me back to high school and those annoying dudes that wore mushroom necklaces and said, "SHROOOOOMS." Ugh, my skin crawls with annoyance just thinking of it again. Anyway, it was time to reclaim the mushroom, they are super adorable and that is the whole story.

So you may recall the insane storm we had last fall. We are still dealing with some large branches and bits of log that are laying around. I happened to have three little logs that looked like they might want to be mushrooms. So I have been on the lookout at thrift stores for nicely rounded bowls. Unfortunately there were none in my price range of under $2. Then, a couple of days ago, I spotted a bowl clearance at the supermarket. $1.68 each, sold! I took them home and prepared to turn those bowls and logs into adorable whimsical mushrooms.



Here is how you too can create these very charming and super easy mushrooms.

You will need
Logs, short and squat
Round bowls, one for each log
Nails and hammer
paint, my bowls were already in satisfactory colors but if yours are not you will want red and green spray paint as well as white acrylic paint
sponge
scissors
paper plate
pen




1. First you will trace a circle on your sponge. I used the base of a cup. Cut it out. If your bowls base color needs to be painted, do so now.



2. Dab the sponge in the white paint and apply to your bowl. Press firmly and then rotate. I wanted kind of loose circles, if you are fussy about precision then you should probably stop reading my blog as I am sure to annoy you. Put circles all over the bowl as you see fit, just make sure that they are kind of randomly placed. This is a good job for older kids!



3. Once the bowls are dry place them on top of your log. Hammer the nail through the bowl and into the log. Done.



4. When I placed them outside I dug a little hole and then piled up some stones around the base for extra support.





Now a wild and dull corner of the yard has a little point of interest.

And it is so Worth the Wait

**No photos in this post are from yesterday as it is still brown outside, there is green to be found if you squint, but these pics really capture the mood.

Last night was wonderful, heck all day yesterday was pretty spectacular. The weather was perfect. We drove around with the windows rolled down, breeze in our hair. We opened doors and windows. I think probably a thick yellow fog of winter air (dog farts and diapers) dispersed into the atmosphere. Fresh cool air filled up our home. The dogs lounged in the yard, lazily woofing at the occasional squirrel (something I fully support) and looking for gross yard stuff to eat, because they are dogs. The girls were angels, no crazy meltdowns or bizarre behavior to mess with the mood of the day. It was fantastic.



Sometime around 3 I loaded up the girls into the stroller. I leashed up the dogs, one in each hand as I pushed the heavily laden stroller. Seriously folks it is quite a thing to watch, people will stop their cars to stare as I make my way through the neighborhood, one person leading four others with only the power of my alpha-ness to control the whole shebang. We took at least an hour, meandering through the labyrinth of our neighborhood. Cordelia and I played I-spy. Playing that game with a four year old goes something like this...Cordelia looks at a red house and says, "I see something that is red." Or she stares at a cloud and says, "I see something white in the sky." So, it's pretty easy to keep up. Elise is happy to just look around and chillax, a major shift from the baby who would howl for an entire walk for the last two summers. The dogs were happy to plod along at their basset-y pace, stopping to smell stuff and pee on the sidewalk. There is this obnoxious standard poodle named Noodles near our house and he barks incessantly at us, Bumblebee always stops to relieve herself by his fence, it's kind of funny---if you're into that kind of humor.



Later we worked in the back yard. This year the winter clean up is extra special thanks to the major, limb breaking, storms that hit over the winter. There were thousands of tiny broken branches and leaves to be dealt with, in the aftermath of the storms we were focused primarily on cleaning up large branches and now we face the insane task of cleaning up everything else. It's happening and it feels so good to get out there and do some manual labor, to feel the dirt and the air, and to smell the decay of leaves and to see the new plants poking up through the brown grass of last year. Oh it is so close. We stayed outside for ages today and the girls got so dirty. I saw them grinding soil into their hair and eating dirt. I didn't really try to stop them as it seemed to make sense after such a very long winter.

Not for the Weak

I went to undergraduate school in Missoula, MT. While there I happened to be in a random history class and we were all asked to tell something about our hometowns as a way to get to know each other ('cuz no bond is more lasting than those formed in forced discussion). Anyway, I made note of a girl from Wyoming. She mentioned that in her town, one known for being windy, that on very gusty days the water in the basement toilet would sway with the winds. I assumed that meant that she had some sort of ramshackle home and that the wind wasn't really that intense.

I assumed wrong.


Photo by my hubby E.K. Wimmer

This morning, over a warm breakfast, my husband and I gazed passively at the curtains blowing in the wind. Let me assure you that our doors and windows were closed. I will admit that we need new sliding glass doors, but I am holding out for french doors (when will my french door genie arrive?!?!), and new windows are needed too, but we definitely do not live in a ramshackle house. The wind is so intense that I am pretty sure that the toilet water in the basement is swaying.

Hold on, let me check....confirmed!

While we are grateful that the temperatures are above 0F, the wind chill still makes it feel -5F, so whatever to that. You know, this weather has been weirdly intense. The poor dogs haven't been on a walk in a week, they give up after five minutes in the backyard and do that thing that lizards do on hot sand.
Imagine this, only swap snow for sand and basset hounds for the lizard.



Photo by my hubby E.K. Wimmer 

There are several bright sides to this situation:
1) The remaning branches (broken in an early storm) are now falling from the trees. Bonus, exercising your cat like reflexes as you dodge them.
2) No body image issues for anyone, thick layers of clothing have leveled the playing field and nobody is even kind of thinking about how they look in a swimsuit.
3)Lots of family time indoors. Hot soy chocolate milk aplenty. Tea too.
4) Free defensive driving practice. Everywhere. All the time.


Photo by my hubby E.K. Wimmer 
I think the temps are supposed to rise to above freezing before the end of the week. WAHOOO! Until then, we are snug and happy, thankful for a roof over our heads and 4wheel drive. Truly, while this weather is cold we are in awe of the beauty that accompanies it. Oh, and Wyoming wildlife is hardcore tough. Seriously, they just go about their business like it ain't no thang!


Photo by my hubby E.K. Wimmer 

Photo by my hubby E.K. Wimmer 

Gotta Do It

When we purchased our home we had no idea what we were in for each fall. All of the leaves in the world blow into our yard and stay there. Fact. This year we have all of the small branches left from the tree apocalypse that happened here last month. We got all of the major big branches out, but there are still tons of little branches to deal with. We had every intention of being totally on top of the leaves this year. Then we got hit with a month of unending illness and the leaves just piled up.  We have now become those people on our block, all of the other yards are tidy and ready for winter...then there is ours. Usually our yard is very well maintained, but not this fall. Eric just kind of cleared a path through the leaves for visitors and the mailman.

Sure we had opportunities to rake leaves, those window of free time usually popped up in the hours after the girls went to bed and neither of us felt inclined to rake in the dark. It would have been ultimately weird though and it would almost be worth it to be the weird neighbors who night rake.

Then yesterday we had a window of opportunity to actually do something about it. So Eric and Cordelia set to work. I have to take it easy with my cracked rib and there was no raking for me. I did manage to snap a few photos before I took Elise in for her nap.

















When Eric called it a day he'd made a ton of progress. Six major trash bags full and we still have to do the side and back yards. The back yard is the worst because, in spite of a poop scoop, there is always a threat of a lingering poo underneath a leaf pile. GAAAAG!